It’s been a long time since i have posted something on this blog.

I suddenly revisit this blog is because i thought about some aspects of myself and found out how big a loser i was and still is.

This isn’t an emo session but a genuine flaw in my character.

I was wondering why i used to call myself a lone wolf and i found the reason why recently. If i look around myself carefully, i have many friends. I believe i’m sociable and mix well with most people. but when i think back now, i don’t really have any close friends. Then i began thinking what could have caused such a situation to occur. I realised that the only reason this could happen was because i didn’t dare to commit much in friendships. during the days in secondary school, i spent most of my time playing vball and the remaining time i have left, i wasted it in playing computer games. I tried to play games which others were playing as well, but being quite a game addict, i couldn’t stop when they did. moreover i wasn’t exactly very close to the volleyball members of my team as well.

Until recently, i also realised another point. i was constantly trying to change my personality to fit into other people’s cliques but i didn’t remain long in any because that wasn’t exactly who i am. if i were to be myself, i wouldn’t have any group of friends on my own either.

what kind of person am i? definitely a useless one.

i’m indecisive, afraid to try new things alone and lack commitment to the things i do.

Take vball, a major part of my life so far for example. I look upon the success of my seniors and juniors and find myself stuck in the middle of nowhere. My seniors are close to each other and they meet up very often. Their vball standards at my current age are already far more superior than mine. My juniors are also close to each other as well, not  to mention that they were even once representatives of Singapore to play against other countries like malaysia and thailand. So what if i was a captain of a team which clinched 3rd, i’m just a nobody leeching the success of my juniors to get that 3rd position. if my juniors didn’t come over to my school, i wouldn’t even stand a chance in the top 8. 

I believe quite a number of people think i’m capable and not just the average person, but i’m nothing compared to the people i’m surrounded by. I want to improve myself in all aspects but it’s easier said than done. I reflected on many things that i’ve done wrong before and i think i have improved in terms of character by a little but nothing changed.

I have also spent most of my teenage life regretting decisions i have made. but i told myself i can’t live a life of regret. so i forced myself to move on in many different occasions but the grief i felt still remains and i don’t believe it’s ever gonna go away.  One of such occasions is how i screwed up in the match against AJ during the quarter-finals and against NY during the semi. The flashbacks still come back to haunt me. I only had one chance to do it right and i didn’t. how many more times am i going to screw my life up?

I want to change once and for all. i don’t hate the life i’m leading but i dislike it. and i believe this is a change i’m going to make which i won’t regret. it’ll take time and it’s not gonna be an easy path but i’m convinced i will lead a happier life.

There’s more to life than material needs. Be willing to pursue your own happiness. Commitments are what makes or breaks you. Only when you dare to commit, will you be able to achieve what you truly desire.

Live life to the fullest without further regrets and be happy in the process. That’s my motto in life.

YY

I think the blog’s gonna collect dust for another long period. lol

Even though we lost to NYJC in the semi-finals 3-1, we won AJC 3-0 and i’m very proud to say that the whole team has done very well throughout the tournament and we clinched the 3rd position.

I’m very proud of every single member in our team. Even though there are a few players who didn’t managed to play in the tournament, the support from you all was incredible and I really appreciate it when you guys cheer for us when we were off-form. We could have never made it if anyone of us were present.

This marks the end of our journey together as a official team. However, our bonds will still be there. Happy and sad memories we shared will remain and we will still be PJ Vball Team of 08′ forever!

Cheers to everyone!

Special thanks to the SC and all the supporters especially the volleyball girls who consistently come for every match to give their fullest support, and to the school management committee as well because they really came down to support our match against NYJC.

PJC Volleyball. The legacy lives on.

YY

PJC fought hard against RJC,JJC and NYJC, in the 1st round, winning RJC and JJC to qualify for top 8.

After 3 matches against AJC, HCI and VJC, we managed to defeat HCI and VJC clinching a position in the TOP 4, a position PJC vball has never had in 4 years.

NOW, we face NYJC again in the semi-finals, and this time round, WE SHALL NOT LOSE! with our capabilities and confidence, NYJC will go down on Monday. Time for the final showdown…

GO PJ VOLLEYBOK!

Today PJC win RJC, 25-10 25-11. Although the score seems good, it could better. That 21 points came from 3 service errors, 2 backrow freeballs, 2 defensive mistakes, 6 points they scored, 3 offensive mistakes, and 5 other points that i cannot recall or simply too stupid to lose.

Everyone was feeling very anxious for some reason. Maybe because this is our first official match as a team and we are in a different environment. Being anxious caused us to perform very badly because we were making mistakes that we shouldn’t.

Actually, PJ do stand a high chance to get in Top 4 but there are many things breaking down at a wrong time.

Our Strengths:
-Morale

-Height

-Skills

Our Weaknesses:
-Teamwork

-Defence

The morale today was only moderate. Everyone felt so and somehow we couldn’t do anything about it. I tried to cheer louder but the environment seems to swallow the loudness. There was no morale to speak of and besides, we were anxious.

My major concern would be our morale. If this continues, we wont stand a chance against NYJC, defending champion or even AJ,TJ or HC. Morale is the soul of our game. Without it, we are nothing. Even a beautiful set can end up a lost of point when the spike is out. We MUST find our way out of this mess. This cannot continue.

Well, my only consolation is that our team has the Top 4 material but lack the motivation to get it. I’m glad i have improved at the right time and won’t burden the team as much as before but my juniors have deproved. Our trump cards are losing their power. Hope this doesn’t affect our chances much. I really do want the ticket to Toa Payoh Stadium…

Jia you PJ Vball…

RJC IS DOWN! 2 MORE TO GO! NEXT UP : JURONG JUNIOR COLLEGE

P.S. Bok is the Hero fo the Day!

After a major blow on my confidence level and morale from the TP match, i didn’t expect much to change for the KL trip since it has only been one week. But little did i know… …

1st day, we all met up at Teck Whye Mac to have breakfast at 5.45a.m. then after set off to school to report. While the others are busying chatting, i had to try to do my Econs assignment(which turns out to be a disaster). After all the admin stuff had been settled, we board on the bus for a long long journey to KL.

During the short interval break at Malacca, we all ate Ramly Burger but only i had severe stomach ache (terrible thing to happen on the first day).

Anyway, we went to Bukit Jalil Sports School to play our friendly match with the team there. They were strong, but much weaker as compared to TP. PJ played well against TP and so they were confident of doing a better job here against a weaker team. i was the only one feeling quite scared.

Morale is our Weapon. I told myself that no matter how lousy i perform, i must not let it affect my mood. By taking a more postiive attitude, i managed to control my emotions even thoguh i only played average. Volleyball was the last sports played that day so the other CCAs were watching us.(quite stressful sia but we didn’t care much) I dont remember the score but it was quite close every set. We lost 3-0 but we all had fun. The match was quite intense due to the strong offense from the opponent and our high morale. Even though i didn’t play well, i enjoyed the game. and because of the high morale, my body didn’t sense the stomach ache till the end of the match.

At night, we had chicken buffet for dinner. haha 5 honeydew pieces stopped my stomach ache surprisingly, and recovered my appetite for food just in time xD the roasted chicken was heavenly good. too bad the best spicy chicken wings came when we were about to leave. i only ate 2 pieces. After checking in the hotel and doing some admin work, i went to bed cuz the previous night i didn’t sleep.

2nd day was the real fun. We had to wake up early for breakfast then head back to BJSS for our training. Waste of time i felt.. we were conserving our energy for the match and slacking all the way during training. After lunch, we played with the KL State Team. They are weaker as compared to BJSS. We won the first 2 sets with extremely high morale but lost the next 3 sets due to the lack of stamina. Morale can really kill u know? haha… after that we went back to hotel, then head over to Chinatown in a hurry due to lack of time =,= over at Chinatown, many of us didn’t shop because we were told we will have enough time to shop on the next day. so we went to eat dinner. after dinner, we head back to the hotel.

3rd day, we went to Chocolate Factory but i stayed on the bus cuz it’s so boring =.= on the 2nd location for shopping was a megamall.. i was too tired so i continued sleeping on the bus while the others went to do some shopping. they said there’s was nothing much there and only 1 and a half hours were given to shop so in the end they didn’t buy much. After that, we went back to SG and by the time we reach Lot 1, it was already 7.45pm.

The KL trip mainly regained my confidence in Volleyball again and i really enjoyed it.

If we play the same standard as we did for the trip, i’m sure the finals is not a problem for us.

First, i would like to congratulate the team for putting up a good fight against the Tertiary Champion Team. Great job guys…

On our way to TP, i was still feeling as per normal, not nervous but not relaxed… i told myself we are going there to gain experience, not to win.

Everyone felt jittery about the match when we arrived at the court because we recognise some of the stronger players.

During free spikes, i could jump the height that i wanted, but somehow my body doesn’t adapt to the net height (slightly higher than what we play) and the spikes kept hitting the white strip on the top of the net, losing power. I gave myself an excuse to blame on. The net.

Further on we proceeded with the match. The first 2 sets we were playing at a normal standard with no exceptional performance. I didn’t get to touch the ball much and so i didn’t make much mistakes in the game. I was cheering all along for the team, hoping to raise the morale and making the game more fun and exciting.

However when the 3rd set began, i somehow began to restrain myself in terms of cheering. Don’t know if i was tired or just simply lazy, i didn’t cheer much for the 3rd set. haha Shawn was the one doing all the work, scoring, blocking and i was like moving from left to right, then back to left when the point ended. (Dancing in the court?) (Btw, i’m not mentioning the scores or the wins because in all they did a good job and that’s all that matters)

When the 4th set began, i start to mess up A LOT. FIrst ball flying all over, spiking into the net, slow in my blocking, not reacting fast enough for sudden ball…. all these constitute to my low morale… on the other hand, the whole team had performed very well, in terms of enthusiasm and skills. Joash played VERY WELL, Shawn played VERY well, Sim played VERY WELL, Zuo Kun (uzuok) played as usual (imba power) and Zhi kai strong silent powerhouse(needless to say that he played VERY WELL also). If i recall, i dont remember any mistakes from them.

The lack of morale in myself and my performance falling during match made me very depressed and totally no mood to play on. I didnt want to affect the others who were in such high morale, so i faked a front, occasionally cheering with my sub-conscious.

Even my coach commented that i was very confused in the court ( i know he meant i played lousy) and he changed my position for the 5th set to be an open spiker, a position i had not played in a year. To some extent, i couldn’t adapt quickly and made more mistakes =.= while the rest are enjoying the high morale of the team during the game.

is it because i crack under pressure? is it because i’m just too lousy? is it because i didn’t put in my 100%? i constantly asked myself during the bus trip home and i couldn’t find an answer. I hid behind that curtain not because i want to sleep. but because i had to sort my thoughts out. 2 drops of tear fell. A depserate attempt to search for a solution to my incompetence. I’m just a vball fren, not a vball teammate.

YY hoping to find that solution soon… Once again, Good Work PJ.

hehehe blogging is a chore to me… oh well

shawn and sim asked me to blog yesterday so here i am today…

on wednesday(which is my birthday), went out to watch rush hour 3 on the very last day that it is screening(heng sia).. haha…

bought some donuts from Dippin’ Donut (VIvo)… haha according to Ivan Chong, any other donut shop other than Donut Factory are pirated… go see his blog.. .www.supersuaku.blogspot.com

ok then on thurs… morning… got photoshoot at 9.30…. to be safe reach at 9…. i ask everyone to come at 8.30 to be even safer! and……… i woke up at 8.30 -.-  as usual late… will never change…

then the photographer ask us to do 1 action in the court with the ball… super funny… sim has to block the ball with 1 hand up and 1 hand halfway up… and jump with his legs kicked up like a girl act cute… hahah try imaginating…

anyway he’s the only one who have to do such a pose… others just do the usual stuff… haha…

oh well crap enough liao… lunia quite fun to me… who wanna try? go download…. global.lunia.com

good luck to SEC 4s in BP for your O’s….

good luck to ex-BP in JC1 now and JC1s in PJ for Promos…

Good luck to the 3 conquerors i know… Celest, Esther and Ah Zui for your O’s, EOY exams and N’s respectively… willl never forget you guys.. haha…

good luck and good bye

YY

today is a just another stupid day in JC.

Chem and physics practical reports and tutorials not done. Total 4.

Late for training.

WR later must do.

No sleep for me today.

and dont make it sound like it’s my fault…

YY signing out at 8.44pm   25/7/07

sim asked me to blog so i am going to blog.

It’s been 7 months already ever since i stepped into PJC. time flies so quickly in JC.. kind of good and bad…

good being it ends fast so the stress dont last so long…

bad is going into adulthood earlier… having much much lesser time playing…

oh well life has to go on anyway so i prefer to look on the brighter side!  Stress-free in 17 montns!!

Study wise still doing ok… as usual i cannot make it for GP and Econs

Grades are as follows :

H2
Math A   57/60   (i’m proud of this)

Physics B   67/100

Chem B   55/80  ( 1 more mark to A T_T)

H1

GP  E   45/100 ( almost fail o.o)

Econs  U   11/30  (expected)

Chinese B  62/100   ( i wanted an A zzzz)

haha so these are my grades… for H2s still quite ok… but h1 kns..

oh well i can only hope for the better in promos… though i feel that my grades will only drop… good luck to all for promos and those in sec4, their Olvls!  for my fren that i know that is in sec 4 normal acad, good luck for your N!

this post is brought to you by YY…

P.S.  sim asked me to blog (oh i mentioned it at the start right?)

i am so dumb… why didn’t i just did what was right? i should have just gone there and get something… sometimes i seriously question myself… why do i keep making wrong choices?   i have no respect for myself anymore… haiz… i wan to do the right thing not only for once but for everytime…  life’s never simple… haiz